I'm fairly new to FA, and becoming happy with my body is an ongoing project. My last post was (from just a few days ago), explained the revelation of looking at my body in the mirror and not hating everything I see, I've written about the way I've treated my body in the past, and how I hope never to disrespect it like that in the past. But I'm still calling my body "it". My body isn't an "it", it's me. When I'm hating what I see in the mirror, I'm not hating an external Body, I'm hating myself. When I'm hurting my body, I'm hurting myself.
Disrespecting my body is disrespecting myself.
So now I face the issue of dismantling the 'mind-body' split: Something, incidentally, which I have never believed in intellectually - as a student I used to think (and I still do think) writers who believed that the mind was something separate [and implicitly better] than the body were deluding themselves into human superiority. (I have a degree in Philisophy don't 'cha know). I know that I get physical symptoms when something's wrong psychologically (my panic attacks have always manifested themselves like stomach flu). And yet it's taken me 10 more years from knowing and believing these things to even recognising that I unconsciously acted as if I believed in this delusion, let alone tackling the problem.
There are changes I'm going to have to make to break out of this now-conscious social training. I've got to look after myself, in a much less perfunctory way. I need to be remembering that in order to be healthy I have to nourish and care for my mind and my body. I need to harmonise myself, retune my mind into my body. To train myself to believe, consciously and unconsciously that mind and body are one.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
3 comments:
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"When I'm hating what I see in the mirror, I'm not hating an external Body, I'm hating myself. When I'm hurting my body, I'm hurting myself.
ReplyDeleteDisrespecting my body is disrespecting myself."
Ohh that is very true and I shall need to dwell on this.
"writers who believed that the mind was something separate [and implicitly better] than the body were deluding themselves into human superiority."
That's me?
Jeez lady, your blog certainly opens my eyes and makes me think in processes I never thought possible. I see being very thin as having control over mind and body ... a delusion as you say... hm..
I'm happy you see what you need to do to nourish your body and your mind. I guess you ony have one body, and if you fuck with it too much, you lose first your mind, and then your body as you kill it.
You make sense. I heart you.
xxx Ellie
Congratulations! I agree with you. It feels good to look in the mirror and not hate everything you say. It is also so very important to look in the mirror and look below the neck for part of your body that you like.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the world of fat acceptance and the possibility of loving your life more.
Movement (dance in my case) is what blew away that mind/body split for me, many years ago. If you're able to be physically active, find something you love doing and do it regularly. You'll be amazed at the benefits; how it improves mood, how it makes you so much more rooted in your body, and how it makes your body feel beautiful. That feeling of beauty and strength becomes part of how you perceive your appearance.
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